Cumpulsion

–noun

1.	the act of compelling; constraint; coercion.

2.	the state or condition of being compelled.

3. Psychology. a strong, usually irresistible impulse to perform an act, esp. one that is irrational or contrary to one's will

Well I don't know how irrational my poker playing is, but at times it is definitely contrary to my will. I've found myself playing No Limit poker 15 times in the past month and my heart nearly skipped a beat after I glanced over my profit/loss statement. At times I feel it is getting out of hand, but while I have the time in day as I wait for stability in my career endeavours, I am compelled by the perception of double, triple, quadrupling-up, having others bet into me while I have the nuts, using my impeccable reading skills to push the best hand out, hitting a jackpot... so on and so forth. I think I can say I have been playing poker for a living for the past month. I was off to a great start, then I went on a streak of bad beats, then I just started chasing my losses (which were actually winnings to begin with), now I shake my head in disbelief. The more I play the more I realize professional live game poker is NO life! (tournaments, what you always see on TV, is a different story.) Imagine playing poker 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, in an attempt to cover for monthly expenses and have spending money at the same time. It requires more discipline and patience at a constant and lengthy rate then I can fathom. I've found myself playing until the crack of dawn on a couple instances. It's not nice! I feel sick to my stomach right now and my body wants to mop around like slug in depression but my mind is going to make me go through 30 minutes of cardio right now, and a nice ab and shoulder workout. I love sweating out negative energy.