One of the deciding factors in my decision to move back home with the folks, back in 2004.5, was for the opportunity to strengthen the small-talk relationship I had with my brother. Somehow, I wanted to make up for the 4 crucial years of absence I created in our association when I moved away for school. These were his high school years and my college years. I only felt the void after I received my degree and my full time employment had begun.
A lot changes after college. What you felt once to be a lifestyle you could not live without becomes a past time of exploration and discovery. A temporary life. An extensively branched network of peers and associates withers away. And as soon as the spring season comes, only those peers who were in the trunk remain an active part of your life. Soon you realize the need to rekindle with your roots. Deeply founded beneath the surface are those persons who have seen to your prosperous upbringing. The family.
And so, I returned to Los Angeles especially to grow closer with my brother. After four years of high school now, naturally he has developed his own branches and twigs of peers, some of whom are trunked.
It seems such a difficult task. I had all my movies out and an s-video cable in hand ready to enjoy a movie watching evening with him and his fellas. I would have invited myself, but I felt the resistance, the gap, the separation. Instead I sit here and write, and reflect, and swallow the pain that comes from my roots.
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